#6 Buy or compromise???

Lately, my mind is fluctuating between 2 thoughts :- one. wanting to buy; two. compromise. I’m sure the moment you read this, most of you must be saying that learn to feel content with what you have than to buy. But my question here is how long should I keep compromising on my needs. ‘Need’, isn’t that a major term.

Have you heard about Maslow’s hierarchy of needs? There you can see below about that theory.

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  1. Biological and Physiological needs – air, food, drink, shelter, warmth, sex, sleep, etc.
  2. Safety needs – protection from elements, security, order, law, stability, freedom from fear.
  3. Love and belongingness needs – friendship, intimacy, affection and love, – from work group, family, friends, and romantic relationships.
  4. Esteem needs – achievement, mastery, independence, status, dominance, prestige, self-respect, and respect from others.
  5. Self-Actualization needs – realizing personal potential, self-fulfillment, seeking personal growth and peak experiences.

(Cited: http://www.simplypsychology.org/maslow.html)

Don’t you agree with me that basic needs or the deficit of needs is the main motivation for humans?

According to Maslow, he came up with this theory for peoples’ motivation and how they are motivated based on their needs and what levels do they reach in terms of needs. He believed that people possess a set of motivation for rewards or unconscious desires. He said that when a person is fulfilled with one need, he seeks to fulfill his next need. That’s what his hierarchy of needs talks about. When there is a need we tend to make unconscious desire.

Necessity plays a role. If there is a need we prepare and make arrangements for it.

Likewise, if you do not want more or wish for more, how would you work towards that reason? Is it not called settling down when you just feel content with what we have? How would you keep moving up in the ladder, when you do not want to get promoted and just feel content with your current position?

Only if you wish for buying a new car, you will start working on a plan to buy that new car. A plan like improving your budget, savings, etc.

Don’t we advise people, do what you like and firm with what you need. So compromising your need is not a good suggestion, keeping in mind that each situation is different and you alone could analyze your situation and make up your mind.

Self-actualization and realization must be present when we desire for something. There is nothing wrong in wanting to buy if I do not have it. There is nothing wrong in improvising what you have, it’s like cope up with the present. Having a mobile phone is a basic necessity in this century, mostly, you cannot say I have a landline, I do not need a mobile phone. Well, you cannot carry a landline in your pocket. Period. It’s about improvising and cope up with the world and the needs.

Back to my questions, wanting to buy or compromise. To help my mind with these questions, I have decided to use a simple trick. I will ask myself, ‘do I have it already? & what is the need?’

Let me finish it with my quote 🙂

Desires are not wrong, when the needs are right.

#5 How. is. it. possible???

How is that possible, when you are already at 100 mi/hr. speed and yet there is another car able to overtake you in the highway just about the same speed? How is that possible, when there is a successful magazine already in place, a new magazine could beat it on the same category? How is that possible, a new company is emerging successfully for the same android smart phone for which there are multiple brands already making their rocket sales? How is that possible, that a new one could beat an existing yet successful venture?

With respect to speed I guess, physicist or an engineer might answer, however for the rest, what you think the answer is?  Today I read a trending news about the 19-year-old young CEO and entrepreneur of Rookie Magazine. There are several brand magazines out there which are popular and bestselling, still the young entrepreneur made it to Forbes summit this year. Isn’t it amazing? How is it possible? This got me to into thinking. Is there a game theory? Did this young CEO try out of the box thinking? Is there a secret behind this success? What is that innovative idea or a new business trick this young CEO brought in? Is that something no one knew it ever existed, that she did, it is the magazine that we all know what it is about, not that I am talking about what a magazine could do. Of course there are different types of magazines, among those types, Rookie magazine is for teens. Does that mean if we start some business or products for teens, we will be successful? No, there is something more than this.

We have heard from a lot of successful people that their success is because of hard work, focus, consistent, innovative ideas, thinking out of the box, being creative and cutting edge techniques etc. Yes, all these are factors contributing success.

We all have this inner thought, why not us? Why can’t we do the same when we have the better potential? What is that we lack?

‘First step’ is the answer. Take the first step.

  • The first step to take your pen and write down your goals.
  • The first step to think that we can do it.
  • The first step to set the alarm for next day to wake up early
  • The first step to come out of your shell and talk to people
  • The first step to join the community where people share ideas in the forum
  • The first step to take your ideas to your manager and ask for his opinion.
  • The first step to wear the gym dress to go for work out
  • The first step to learn that new language that you have been wanting to.

 And so on……I know its all in your mind, all you need to do is to take the first step.

Have you observed a baby taking his/her first step?, the number of attempts it makes to keep that first step, exactly it’s the same, never fear the failure, just take the first step. When I started writing this post, I did not think I’m going to write down all these points, however I took the first step to open a new page to write and there you see, I could type more. 

Believe in yourself & believe in taking the first step, believe me you are half way through your journey.

#4 Best 5 ways to kill your dreams. Are you interested?

I am a very serious TED Talk follower. Very serious (trust me, when I write this my eyes are really wide like I am watching something very scary) to the level that most of my posts does not go without tagging a supporting TED Talk video for my thoughts. Surprising fact is that I am able to find one. Can you believe that you get to listen to life changing ideas and speeches under 6 minutes? yes, believe it.

One of such talk is what I am going to share today which is 5 best ways to kill your dreams. Yep, you read it right, it is killing your dream. We all have gone through people saying to a winner that he got lucky or look at his overnight success, without considering the years and years of efforts he/she had put in to become a winner. That’s the speaker’s first point in her talk.

Second, she talks about how we are influenced by others while making our own decision. This second step, is about reiterating the fact that it is ‘You’ at the end of the day, who is responsible for the decision you make, either influenced or following other’s instruction. It will be ‘You’ and ‘You’.

Third, she talks about ‘okay is never okay’, we need to be great. When we achieve our long term goal, what happens next, you take that success, learnings, and experiences and put them into your next project. It’s definitely going to add to your next success and you will notice that you are not going to settle for little.

Fourth, it is more like the second tip, being responsible for the decisions you make, likewise, you are accountable for your own actions, blaming others for you not being able to put an additional effort is not going to make your goal success, rather it is going to sit there and watch you whine.

Fifth, dreams themselves. Dream what you want to achieve, dream your success and when you feed your dreams more and more with your hard work, you are going to be happy. I’m sure all of us want to be happy, then dream your victory and work towards it.

If you are asking what are those 5 steps to kill, in Speaker’s words:-

So, five tips: Believe in overnight success, believe someone else has the answers for you, believe that when growth is guaranteed, you should settle down, believe the fault is someone else’s, and believe that only the goals themselves matter. Believe me, if you do that, you will destroy your dreams.

Here I am presenting to you, one of the interesting Ted Talk by Bel Pesche, an Entrepreneur.

#3 That one word I missed!

Our life is all about words, what we say & what we read.Missing one word can lead to a huge misunderstanding, even to a war; sometimes humiliation; sometimes it can bring out some terrific funny moments.

Well, finding the right words to express what you mean is a type of human Intelligence which is known as Linguistic, if that intelligence misses a word. What happens??? See below 🙂

happiness

This is how I read one of the Facebook post in my timeline, and I was wondering, how could a person can possibly have fun to keep an alarm for the next day, I thought to myself may be a self-determined person like me 😉 See the picture below:

happiness2

Yes! The word ‘NOT’ was missing in the previous picture. I read it again to realize I just missed one word and I already had series of thoughts about that sentence which I read it incorrect. I do this most of the times, today I thought, Wow! this is not right. I do not want to be a person who gives that wrong information.

We tend to miss words while reading or writing which changes the whole meaning. Those little importance or extra seconds that we scarce is what leading us to miscommunication. While sending a text message, right before you click on send button, just look at your message, take that extra second that will save you from humiliation or misunderstanding. When you send an email, take that extra second to read your email again, it might even help you to reduce more email chains, than to write another apology email saying ‘Ignore the previous email or sorry, please find the corrected email’. I know it happens at work don’t they? Human errors are natural and acceptable mostly but it cannot be a defaulter, like repeating it again and again.

Will you accept if a Doctor misses a critical word in a diagnosis that leads to a different medication and there after side effects or loss of life? I really wanted to quote this example, to show the importance in any message that we exchange, it might be a lifesaving. While at work or among friends, it can be any place, I’m sure that little perfection is not going to take you off from fun 🙂

Some of us are already taking those extra seconds, and some of us are ignoring that importance. Hope we don’t ignore anymore.

See the verse written in the holy book, ‘Bible’ under the title ‘The Word Became Flesh’ – ( John 1:1-2)

1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was with God in the beginning.

Happy Not Missing that one word, can be any 😉

#2 Are you grittier?

Today I was almost giving up on my 10 days milestone of writing about a learning I receive each day. Giving up on the second day doesn’t sound good at all. The day was so hectic and I was tired when I reached home at 10 PM. I was exhausted to either open my laptop or ponder over what I learned today to share. That’s when I logged in to my laptop and started my writing. There right at that minute, a strong word strikes me which is perseverance. If I had given up today, I’m sure I wouldn’t have slept well or couldn’t have avoided the guilt I would run into the next morning. If I had given up today, I could not have made a good excuse to my world, while so many others are working hard non-stop towards their goal.

Perseverance is persistence, it is something or rather your efforts that are required to do something and continue doing it even if it’s hard. Tonight, I am happy I did not give up and I’m persevering. How do I do this on every such situation, may be situations that are even tougher than this? What is required to persevere for long term goals? I’m aware that it is not just with IQ or EQ.

I learned  that grit is what required to help you persevere; the long term passion. According to dictionary, grit means ‘strength of character’; ‘strength of will’.

Along with grit, you need to learn to measure yourself to help you persevere. You must learn to measure your success. You must be ready to be wrong; do not fear the failure, so that you start over from your learning which will lead you to perfection in fact. Tonight I did fear my failure of giving up on writing this post, however, I started over from previous learning. I sure wanted to persevere. Willingness and strong determination matter.

I looked up for articles supporting my thoughts and I came across a wonderful TED Talk by Angela Lee Duckworth, a Psychologist. Enjoy the video and please remember ‘grit’ is important 🙂

#1 The nerd’s guide to evolve!

The Cartographers (the map makers) were following some trick in earlier days and did you know that they insert fake places on their map?  Do you know why?

Because when that fake place shows up in another person’s map, he will be caught stealing the map.

Well this is one of the interesting old facts I got to know today and I will let you know in this blog from where I learned this. The main context of this post is about community.

My friend and I was walking the walk this evening and we were discussing about how do we keep learning, keep updating our knowledge base in mind. How is it possible if you are alone? And when we were deeply sailing into our conversation we reached a point where I was asking her, should we not be around with people like how we want to be? Like if you want to be a leader, think like a leader. Well wait! Do you all of sudden start thinking like a leader? No, for the start, you will look at your hero or an inspired leader to try their footsteps, unlike the people who are born with the talent of being a leader. She immediately agreed to me saying, true, that’s one of the ways that people improve a lot in career and even life. People become more smart hanging out with smart people. We keep evolving.

No wonder why people say avoid groups which creates negative environment. Isn’t that true?

Besides the fact that the major influence of improving or updating yourself is self-interest and strong determination, spending time with leaders, mentors, like-minded people, listening to motivators, speakers, all these gives you more window to evolve.

It was such a coincidence that I found this inspiring TED talk by John Green, the author of “The Fault in Our Stars” and “Paper Towns”.  He speaks about community and the several ways to join communities that interests you. You won’t be alone again 🙂 He mentions in this speech about that interesting trick maintained by the cartographers in earlier days.

Leave your ideas of evolving in comments, would be glad to know more.