Horrible!!!Heart Breaking!!!

Where this world is heading to with such violence? what kind of exchange do they get in killing people? what are they accomplishing by this atrocious act? Why can’t they use their intelligence to get what they want in peace? All this hatred, vengeance is not coming from someone who worships God. Everyone has their own right. What joy you get in hating people if they are homosexuals? If you have a problem, go and get yourself checked. I am a Christian and I do not have any difference of opinion about LGBT community. They are my brothers and sisters too. Whatever may be the choice of a person, if you believe in God, you will believe in loving your neighbors which is the first commandment.

Each person who is hatred against someone should be transformed into what they hate.

All these are not going to stop. I don’t see an end to this violence. It seems like chain reaction. One person does something wrong to another and the other person becomes a terror and this is continuing. Please learn to love regardless of the characteristics. Life is too short to live a life like this. Leave the hatred and voice out your problem. Do not take gun to show your hatred.

A tragedy can never be reversed. By taking control in your hands is never going to bring back what you lost. There are so many people joining such violence at their own will that’s more horrifying.  People are gaining easy access to weapons and to the dark world. This is not the country you want. Strengthen the regulations, stop issuing license to sell gun. This is clearly a huge gun control problem. This should be banned.

Again people, please do not take this as chance to hate another. The person who did this was an individual and whatever hatred he had was from him as an individual and not from any group or religion to blame.

Earlier it was mass shooting at Virginia Tech killing 32 people and now it is at Orlando killing 50 people and 50 more people wounded. Deadliest is not the only word to all this. We need to look for ways to stop this. LOVE is the only way out I see. Please spread love.

My deepest thoughts and prayers to the victims and the LGBT community.

Picture Courtesy : Elitedaily
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The Driving Factor! ‘3 min read’

As promised here is my next post to ‘Vision of life

I have observed whenever I make a resolution or commit to a work, I will be on that sprint of mood to finish it right away and I will be able to finish it too, because I will be on fire to get things done. I will be happy and feel accomplished once it’s done and I will even ask for more work like such. Well, all these in the case of small commitments 😀

What happens to me when it’s something that takes time even longer like a yearly resolution. First day I will be super active, second day I will be active but not like the first day and I will get through the first week this way. Eventually that sprint of mood I mentioned earlier, I will almost forget that word. I will reach that state of ‘It’s okay’, It’s okay I have time, I will do it tomorrow and I will be queen of procrastination the next 2 days. The third day I will be guilty of being queen 😦

Again I will become conscious and become active. Even if I am not truly active, I will make sure I will motivate myself and get me into action and  I will say Yay!!!. This will continue for good 2 weeks. This goes on and on until the deadline of the challenge I accepted meaning the resolution I took. I have been in these days. I have been in these years. I am over it! I am glad I found ways to succeed. In my other article What happens to you after your ‘Success’? ,I had written about not making yearly resolution as #101 trick.

Like me, there are many out there who have found their ways to kill procrastination and get into action. There are still many who wants help and tricks to get that driving factor to be consistent. Not all the tasks or resolutions we commit to are small to finish off quickly. Like I said earlier, some takes time even longer like a yearly resolution. Like the day passes that mood fades too. It is easy to make a decision or a resolution when you are in that mood.  You see an inspiring video about working out in the morning and you make up your mind that you are going to work out every morning. That mood may last one minute or a day or a month. Once you lose that mood, you cannot do what you had planned to do. That’s how people fail in their resolution. That’s when the resolution becomes repeated and never ending. That’s when feeling frustration enters and you will get to say yeah I know this will not work out. You will easily give up and that definitely is not helping you to be consistent.

The key is “Like”. You need to like what you do.  You are the one who made that decision or commitment, so you better start liking it and continue liking it more.

Imagine if you don’t like a book after reading first 2 pages, it is better that you stop wasting more time in that book and pick a different book that keeps you interested. You can’t do the same for your resolution, you can’t change it every now and then. When you can love the same person and be in relationship with that same person for many decades. You can certainly develop the liking towards what you do even if it’s difficult. If you read my article on Love at first sight.Really??? you will understand what I mean by liking it and continue liking it more.

Start liking what you do.

The secret to happiness is not in doing what one like, but in LIKING what one does – James M.Barrie

If in case you are not in mood, do things you like that is quick and start feeling accomplished by doing them. When you get that sense of achievement, you would want to do more to achieve more. The more you achieve the more you want to do.

#102 Trick: That’s why they say do your bed when you wake up so you start your day with accomplishment.

See you next Tuesday! Follow my blog with Bloglovin
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Vision of life! ‘3 min read’

Have you ever wondered why do we feel frustrated quickly and take a long time to come out of that mood? Why does failure hit us like a tornado in life? Why do we take each silly disappointment too personally? Why do we get so defensive if someone questions you out of no-where? It even makes you to snap at them saying you have no rights. Psychologists say that such behavior are as a result of lacking confidence in ourselves. I have been through this in my life too. But why do we lack confidence?  I did find the answer and that is

     ———————–I DON’T KNOW WHO I WANT TO BE——————

True, being yourself, is one thing and being yourself like what, is another thing. If you don’t know who you want to become, it is very simple you can’t become one except for one thing, you will lack confidence. Julia_Gillard_2010

If Julia Eileen Gillard had not dreamt of becoming a prime minister, she could not have achieved the success of becoming the first and to-date only woman prime minister of Australia. If she had not constantly tried and stood for elections she could not have been elected. Of Course, all this did not happen overnight. She started her political aspirations when she was in her second year at the university, almost at the age of 20. It is not easy to hold a top level position; it takes lot of confidence to be with.

There are many times in life that you would not know what you want to be, who you want to become, that’s when frustration enters. People who are successful in life did know who they want to be and anytime they face failure they are back up quickly because they are determinant to who they want to become. When there are disappointments in life, successful people would be able to move on quickly because they have a goal and they don’t have time to mourn over what happened in the past. How can they do it? It is their mind and it helps them to do it. Their mind constantly reminds them about it. Well if their mind is reminding them that means they are feeding their minds with that thought. Mind will not act on its own. It will respond with what you feed into it. If you cannot train or program your mind to think what you want it to think, it’s easy to give up in life.

Here’s when CONSISTENCY plays a role. You need to be consistent in aspiring what you want to be. If you want to lose some pounds, you need to be consistent in working out. If you want to be a speaker, you need to be consistent in preparing yourself by reading materials, joining training sessions and by consistently practice speaking. If you are married, be consistent to love your partner. There is a famous adage, success does not happen overnight. That’s true very true, it needs consistency.

I tried the following and I still do this:-

  1. Write down who you want to become? (Example: I want to be early riser, I want to be committed to my goal, I want to be a person who keep up my words and so on)
  2. Determine what you need to do… to become that person?

Now start practicing it every day and be consistent in doing what you have planned to do so.

Being consistent develops confidence. If you are confident, there is going to be nothing that stops you from reaching your goals. Don’t you agree with me? What do you do at the time of frustration? Please share your thoughts with us.

In my next post, I’m going to share what is that one ingredient that helped me with consistency 🙂 See you next Tuesday!homewaredesigns (1)

Minus the Minus! ‘3 min read’

How do you subtract good from negativity? Is that even possible?

People advise you that never ever stay around negative people. The more you stay with them the more you get influenced. Having said that how do you detach from negative people when you don’t know if it is negative.  I’m not talking about extreme negativity like terrorism or ISIS or talking ill about others or bitching behind or betraying. I’m talking about the negativity that doesn’t look like negative. Let’s consider domestic influence. The things that your family advises you which you think is not appropriate, yet they say it for your own good, however it blocks you from pursuing what you are passionate about. The negativity that you get from your loved ones whose primary thought is to protect you, yet, what they say is against your desire. You would have to go through their disapproval so many times to succeed something in your life. Sometimes you wish you had not listened to them so that you would have been better in what you had chosen earlier?

At one point in life you will conclude that it’s all your fault. But I’m saying its due to lack of confidence. Lack of confidence makes you vulnerable.

Most of the successful people go through this part of life. It doesn’t have to be treated as negative surrounding, rather think those are your gun point to bring out the best in you.  Look through different glass, this is not easy and it requires lot of training; mental training.  

Being confident and staying away from fear is the key here. If you are confident you would be able to reason out why you are taking so and so action? or why are you proceeding in what you want? Or why you made that decision? You will have answer to those question only when you are confident.

 To be CONFIDENT you would need to analyze both good and bad of the outcome. When you are analyzing the outcome, do not let the fear influence it. Fearing what if it goes bad leads to confusion and fades the confidence in you.  DO NOT FEAR THE RESULT. Develop RISK taking attitude. People risk their lives every day to take a next step in their life. If Steve Jobs feared of dropping out of college, there would not be any Apple product or Pixar movies; if Oprah feared of living the life of her dream, she would not have been in the list of the most influential person; if Mahatma Gandhi and other great leaders who fought for freedom feared death, India would not be an independent country. Like such we could think many leaders, warriors who had risked their lives to achieve their goal. They were confident in what they were doing. They did not fear the failure.

It’s the fear of fear you fear. The fear itself hurts more than the thing you are scared of – Darren Hardy

It is easy to blame your family, loved ones, or your surrounding that they are being negative, however it’s within you whether to interpret what they are saying is negative or not, listen to them without preconceived notion to help you analyze the outcome than to act out of impulse or draw a conclusion that they are being negative. It will be YOU who would make that choice. It will be YOU who decides what influences your life.

Try the following, you would see the difference.

  1. Start by training your mind to think not everything you listen are negative.
  2. Develop patience to listen before drawing conclusion.
  3. Whatever has to happen will happen, do not give up your confidence.

When you are confident, you will know to minus the minus i.e. negate the negativity 🙂

How uninstalling Facebook app saved my time?

From the title, you could understand what my post is about.  I did uninstall Facebook app from my phone and I discovered I am not addicted to it, yet I realized I had wasted my time just by scrolling up and down. Whenever a question raised in my mind that if I am over using the app?, I used to answer, “Not at all, I am just filling a gap by just going over some articles, news and little updates about my friends post”. I also thought it is needed for me that I am away from hometown.  I wouldn’t blame Facebook, I blame myself for overusing it. I am trying to take 100% responsibility for what I do and what I don’t do and how I respond to what’s done to me. This is one of the favorite tips I learned from Darren Hardy, the best selling author, keynote speaker and former publisher of Success Magazine and he said the below:-

Capture

Photo Credit: Tumblr.com

It’s very true and once you take charge in what you do and don’t do, You will see the change in how your life moves ahead.

Coming to the question how Facebook was taking my time, I will depict how I was using it in a day. I wake up in the morning and I got into this new habit of lying in the bed for some time after the alarm goes, did you guess why this new habit?,yes, you are right! I open the Facebook and see the news feed may be for 5 to 10 mins that’s all. It’s not a big deal right. My day begins, I freshen up, workout, meditate and eat my breakfast. I used to eat my breakfast in less than 10 mins which is increased to 20 mins because I go through the news feed in Facebook. Yet I thought what’s a big deal, I am just keeping myself company, what’s wrong in it. Once I am done with my breakfast, I start doing my school assignments and while I am doing my assignments, every 10 mins I check my Facebook page and the reason is to just take a break from tedious assignments. This time I thought even more and told myself, “Really??? Are you kidding me? Break every 10 mins and you call it break from the tedious task? Now that’s big no-no”. I used to finish my work in 4 hours however lately, I see that I take the whole day to finish my daily assignments. This goes on for the whole day until I fall asleep even while eating my lunch and sometimes during dinner when I am not eating dinner with my family. I check Facebook page even while I am reading novels. The only time I wasn’t checking Facebook was during meditation and when I am asleep.

I was able to see this difference because I started being online in Facebook from last 2 months. That does not mean I was not an active Facebook user before, until last 2 months, I used to check my Facebook page, however never to this level. There were days that I have not logged into Facebook. I clearly see the change now and how much time I spent in Facebook and you wouldn’t believe me if I said it’s almost 4 hours in a day. Yesterday, I decided to uninstall the app from phone and set up a time to check my Facebook page only at the end of the day for 10 to 15 mins.  I did that yesterday and it continued today as well. I am not addicted to it and it did not make me go crazy either; I am happy that I am able to get my things done much quicker and I did save 4 hours of time for my productive tasks.

You may be thinking that those bits of 5 minutes that you take to check your Facebook page do no harm in your productivity, you are wrong! If you track those little bits of 5 minutes, you will see hours added up at the end of the day. You could actually use those little bits of 5 minutes to take break from screen time by doing eye exercise, a quick walk, a quick call to your mom or your loved ones, if you are someone who is in front of computer for long hours that’s required by your job, then you should probably move out of your desk in those 5 minutes or do some exercise that relaxes your mind and body than logging onto Facebook.

Nothing against Facebook, I agree it does help people stay connected and offers much more fun. In fact, I ❤ Facebook.

love-facebook-wallpaper-400x266

 

Manage your usage, that’s all it takes. ☺

Photo Credit-Feature Image: http://www.hdcutewallpaper.com/love-pics-facebook/

#9 How do I make tough choices?

Today I was talking to my little niece who is 7 years old and her name is Nia. She asked me casually what I should do to grow tall. I told her start playing basketball sport. She told me No, I don’t want to play that sport. I asked her, is it because you don’t like that sport? She said, I like that sport, but I don’t want to play it because it is a tough sport. I was taken aback. I told her if you like something do not give up on it just because it is tough. Give it a try first. She says in a low voice, Okayyyyyy. Fineeee. I will play.

I could not explain her more, she is just a girl who is in second grade. But I was worried about how do I tell her about making tough choices. It’s a strike in my mind, I started thinking about me and how do I make tough choices? I find it difficult too.

Should I live my life happily by doing what I like? Or should I let go my dreams because someone says don’t do it?

Should I express my feelings by being honest with my friend? Or should I hurt her by being honest?

Should I drink coffee so it helps me to finish a task overnight which is beneficial or should I not drink coffee and doze off without finishing my work because caffeine is not good for health?

I have seen myself in such confusion in my life on and off a lot about what to choose or what should I do out of 2. Sometimes I sit and pray God asking Him to help me to make a decision, I won’t be able to hear His answers soon, so I step up to human steps of writing down pros and cons in a paper and try to figure out which one could I choose, sometimes doing that takes me to a different level of confusion or sometimes I make my choices based on the pros.

Sometimes I take 2 small sheets, write ‘Yes’ in one sheet and ‘No’ in another. I fold the sheets carefully so that I don’t make a difference, roll it on the floor, close my eyes and pick one and think that’s my choice.

Sometimes I flip a coin too.

Silly me I have done all these 😀

Well, yeah life teaches you a lot, I learned that I should not give up on tough choices just because it is tough or risky or because someone did not approve it or because I flipped a wrong coin :-p

You need to know how to make tough choices by not treating it as difficult or hard. 

You will hear about it better from one of my favorite TED talks, an inspiring talk by Ruth Chang, a philosopher.

Hope you will be inspired too 🙂

Photo Credit: http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/fitfreeze-fights-cravings.htm

#8 A trick to make you feel good good

Employee: Submits the difficult task within critical deadline.

Manager: No reaction.

Annie: Annie invites her friend Sheila for the dinner party.

Sheila: Sheila attends the party, enjoys the dinner and leaves.

Well, what do you think about this? It doesn’t look good, right? Manager and Sheila are missing something.

You ask for help from your neighbor and you do not take an effort to acknowledge it, do you think your neighbor is going to help you again?

Annie is not going to have a nice feel about Sheila not acknowledging her friend about the efforts she put for the dinner party.

The employee is not going to be motivated next time for a task from that manager who does not acknowledge his work.

Why am I talking about acknowledgment? Today my sister had been to her friend’s place for a birthday party and she returned home with a gift bag. I asked her why is that whenever there is a get-together or birthday party, there is a return gift. Why do they waste money? I’m sure they are already spending money for the party. Then why all this formalities? She replied that ‘this a way of acknowledgment to let me know that she appreciated my presence in the party’. Wow, that’s right.

That’s how my today’s thought stirred around acknowledgment. I started thinking how many acknowledgments I received at work, from family, friends etc. Likewise, I do take many efforts to acknowledge others.  How much special I felt about it <3. It is both ways when I received acknowledgments as well as when I acknowledged others, I feel so good about it ^^’.

There was an instance when one of my junior team members worked on a task with me at a crucial deadline and we did it successfully. Once the work is complete, I received appreciation from our managers as I was directly assigned to that task. I walked up to him and appreciated his hard work and announced to our team members about his hard work and he received a huge applaud from all. I wanted his work to be recognized and appreciated. To my surprise, he did not say anything, he was silent and returned to his work. I felt embarrassed thinking I did something wrong. Days passed, he came to my desk one day and told me that he did not know how to react when he was appreciated as no one had ever appreciated him like that. He was overwhelmed and did not know what to say. Not knowing how to react for an appreciation made him think about it a lot and it took him days to understand it. He told me that he is now able to receive what I had done and it did help him a lot. I knew that day that acknowledgment definitely makes a positive impact in a person. It is a good thing to offer and we should not shy away from that.

We try ways to make people feel good and special. A simple acknowledgment like a gift, thank you card, appreciation letter, acknowledgment email, a big smile:-D etc. does that trick of making you and the others  feel good good ❤

Don’t forget the trick next time 🙂

#6 Buy or compromise???

Lately, my mind is fluctuating between 2 thoughts :- one. wanting to buy; two. compromise. I’m sure the moment you read this, most of you must be saying that learn to feel content with what you have than to buy. But my question here is how long should I keep compromising on my needs. ‘Need’, isn’t that a major term.

Have you heard about Maslow’s hierarchy of needs? There you can see below about that theory.

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  1. Biological and Physiological needs – air, food, drink, shelter, warmth, sex, sleep, etc.
  2. Safety needs – protection from elements, security, order, law, stability, freedom from fear.
  3. Love and belongingness needs – friendship, intimacy, affection and love, – from work group, family, friends, and romantic relationships.
  4. Esteem needs – achievement, mastery, independence, status, dominance, prestige, self-respect, and respect from others.
  5. Self-Actualization needs – realizing personal potential, self-fulfillment, seeking personal growth and peak experiences.

(Cited: http://www.simplypsychology.org/maslow.html)

Don’t you agree with me that basic needs or the deficit of needs is the main motivation for humans?

According to Maslow, he came up with this theory for peoples’ motivation and how they are motivated based on their needs and what levels do they reach in terms of needs. He believed that people possess a set of motivation for rewards or unconscious desires. He said that when a person is fulfilled with one need, he seeks to fulfill his next need. That’s what his hierarchy of needs talks about. When there is a need we tend to make unconscious desire.

Necessity plays a role. If there is a need we prepare and make arrangements for it.

Likewise, if you do not want more or wish for more, how would you work towards that reason? Is it not called settling down when you just feel content with what we have? How would you keep moving up in the ladder, when you do not want to get promoted and just feel content with your current position?

Only if you wish for buying a new car, you will start working on a plan to buy that new car. A plan like improving your budget, savings, etc.

Don’t we advise people, do what you like and firm with what you need. So compromising your need is not a good suggestion, keeping in mind that each situation is different and you alone could analyze your situation and make up your mind.

Self-actualization and realization must be present when we desire for something. There is nothing wrong in wanting to buy if I do not have it. There is nothing wrong in improvising what you have, it’s like cope up with the present. Having a mobile phone is a basic necessity in this century, mostly, you cannot say I have a landline, I do not need a mobile phone. Well, you cannot carry a landline in your pocket. Period. It’s about improvising and cope up with the world and the needs.

Back to my questions, wanting to buy or compromise. To help my mind with these questions, I have decided to use a simple trick. I will ask myself, ‘do I have it already? & what is the need?’

Let me finish it with my quote 🙂

Desires are not wrong, when the needs are right.

#5 How. is. it. possible???

How is that possible, when you are already at 100 mi/hr. speed and yet there is another car able to overtake you in the highway just about the same speed? How is that possible, when there is a successful magazine already in place, a new magazine could beat it on the same category? How is that possible, a new company is emerging successfully for the same android smart phone for which there are multiple brands already making their rocket sales? How is that possible, that a new one could beat an existing yet successful venture?

With respect to speed I guess, physicist or an engineer might answer, however for the rest, what you think the answer is?  Today I read a trending news about the 19-year-old young CEO and entrepreneur of Rookie Magazine. There are several brand magazines out there which are popular and bestselling, still the young entrepreneur made it to Forbes summit this year. Isn’t it amazing? How is it possible? This got me to into thinking. Is there a game theory? Did this young CEO try out of the box thinking? Is there a secret behind this success? What is that innovative idea or a new business trick this young CEO brought in? Is that something no one knew it ever existed, that she did, it is the magazine that we all know what it is about, not that I am talking about what a magazine could do. Of course there are different types of magazines, among those types, Rookie magazine is for teens. Does that mean if we start some business or products for teens, we will be successful? No, there is something more than this.

We have heard from a lot of successful people that their success is because of hard work, focus, consistent, innovative ideas, thinking out of the box, being creative and cutting edge techniques etc. Yes, all these are factors contributing success.

We all have this inner thought, why not us? Why can’t we do the same when we have the better potential? What is that we lack?

‘First step’ is the answer. Take the first step.

  • The first step to take your pen and write down your goals.
  • The first step to think that we can do it.
  • The first step to set the alarm for next day to wake up early
  • The first step to come out of your shell and talk to people
  • The first step to join the community where people share ideas in the forum
  • The first step to take your ideas to your manager and ask for his opinion.
  • The first step to wear the gym dress to go for work out
  • The first step to learn that new language that you have been wanting to.

 And so on……I know its all in your mind, all you need to do is to take the first step.

Have you observed a baby taking his/her first step?, the number of attempts it makes to keep that first step, exactly it’s the same, never fear the failure, just take the first step. When I started writing this post, I did not think I’m going to write down all these points, however I took the first step to open a new page to write and there you see, I could type more. 

Believe in yourself & believe in taking the first step, believe me you are half way through your journey.

Is it Advice or Advise?

It used to happen to me that I confuse between the words ‘advice’ and ‘advise’. Even now while I wrote both words, the spell check draws a line in blue to the word ‘advise’ like below.

advice

advise

I learned the difference long long back with repeated attempts.

Advise is something that you offer an opinion or suggestion to another person, it’s more like a counsel and it is a verb. Advice is again an opinion but it is for guidance or recommend someone with a course of action and it is a noun.

Okay I get it! You are not here to learn the difference.

If there is something in this world that can be heard or offered for free is ‘advise’. Have you come across such a time that you say to yourself out of frustration that “Here he comes with baggage of advise” likewise “here she comes to throw all the advice in the name of life experience”. The problem here is not the advise or advice, it’s the time, how many times you repeat it and to whom you offer. We all know that it is free except the fact we go to counsellors paying lumpsum money however that’s a different scenario, which I believe you understand.

Well here are some points to keep in mind before you advise someone:-

  1. Learn the difference between advise and advice.
  2. You offer your opinion to someone who values it, when you do that you do not have to repeat it.
  3. Do not over use it. Advise only when it’s needed, not always. Advice someone so that you could help or guide that person.
  4. It is a good practice to follow what we preach. Similarly if you advise a friend, hope you already follow it or have enough knowledge about it.

An image is worth a thousand meaning. I liked the below image for the same 🙂

College Advising Corps | I Advise Because...