It’s Okay! – ‘4 min read’

One of my friend let her 3-year-old kid to sit in the front seat because the kid was pleasing her so much and she couldn’t say no to that cute face instead she said, it’s okay, and allowed her kid to sit in the front seat. Can you guess what happened next?

Well, it was not worst but she ended up with traffic ticket (worth double demerit points) and warning from the cop. For real, this cop seems to be nice. But, I thank God that they are safe.

This post is about two words “It’s Okay!”

It is easy to get frustrated and lose interest in our goals and end up saying ‘it’s okay’ to move on. Most of the times, those 2 words, ‘It’s okay’ seems to be the reason for everything that collapses life. When you say it’s okay, everything gets compromised. We all know our mind works in the form of input and output. For every input, you get output. You send in signal for it to respond like a computer programming code.

To your mind, ‘It’s okay’ is a code to stop paying attention now, cool down and relax. When you have not achieved your goal, it can’t be okay. You can’t say it’s okay. That means you are convincing yourself, it doesn’t matter if you don’t do it. If that’s the mind set you have, then there is long way before you could check out any item from your to-do list.

If you have observed keen, you would have realized that procrastination is also caused by the same ‘it’s okay’ mind set. Most of your tasks are postponed by this reason. A simple example, hitting snooze multiple times before we wake up, is because we say it’s okay; convincing ourselves to think it’s okay to sleep for another 5 minutes.

Even in relationships or in marriage, this mind set creates conflicts between couples. Woman thinks it’s okay he can wait for some more time and takes as much as time to groom herself. Man thinks it’s okay not to answer her call now thinking it can wait. When the time pass by they take each other for granted by saying it’s okay and end up in a fight that could have been avoided.

Not to spare, there are instances that even friends became enemies because of the same mind set. A friend thinks it’s okay she is just a friend I don’t need to inform her where I am, although you know she is waiting to hear from you. Another friend thinks it’s okay he is just a friend I can use his car anytime but doesn’t fill the gas even once.

Here is another one, most seen and usual happening under the shield of it’s okay at workplace. Taking stationery items like pen or notepad or markers thinking it’s okay just 1 pen or notepad doesn’t bankrupt the company. But this compromises your ethical behavior at work and you never know how and when it pays off, and trust me it will look bad.

Like such there are much common behaviors like driving above the max speed limit, littering on the neighborhood park and so on. We tend to indulge in such behaviors thinking it’s okay no one is watching. These are just examples, may be even silly ones, but when we think through it we understand how easy it is to compromise the efforts you put until that moment and compromises the reputation you had created so far by uttering it’s okay.

So my friends, let’s try to be responsible and take actions on personal development and from now let it not be okay when it’s not.

There are times in life when those 2 words are necessary, use them when in need and for real.

I would like to list some it’s okays : –

  • Life is an adventure and it’s okay to be nervous;
  • It’s okay to ask for help;
  • It’s okay if someone disagrees with you;
  • It’s okay to be different;

“It’s okay to FAIL but it’s not okay to GIVE UP”

“It’s okay to follow your heart but take your brain with you”

I think those quotes are appropriate for this post and I do not know who wrote it.

Do you think it’s time that you should give up on your goal?  I would say just stick with it and try even harder.

Thank you for reading & Have a great week friends! See you next Tuesday!
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Photo Credit: it’s okay

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#6 Buy or compromise???

Lately, my mind is fluctuating between 2 thoughts :- one. wanting to buy; two. compromise. I’m sure the moment you read this, most of you must be saying that learn to feel content with what you have than to buy. But my question here is how long should I keep compromising on my needs. ‘Need’, isn’t that a major term.

Have you heard about Maslow’s hierarchy of needs? There you can see below about that theory.

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  1. Biological and Physiological needs – air, food, drink, shelter, warmth, sex, sleep, etc.
  2. Safety needs – protection from elements, security, order, law, stability, freedom from fear.
  3. Love and belongingness needs – friendship, intimacy, affection and love, – from work group, family, friends, and romantic relationships.
  4. Esteem needs – achievement, mastery, independence, status, dominance, prestige, self-respect, and respect from others.
  5. Self-Actualization needs – realizing personal potential, self-fulfillment, seeking personal growth and peak experiences.

(Cited: http://www.simplypsychology.org/maslow.html)

Don’t you agree with me that basic needs or the deficit of needs is the main motivation for humans?

According to Maslow, he came up with this theory for peoples’ motivation and how they are motivated based on their needs and what levels do they reach in terms of needs. He believed that people possess a set of motivation for rewards or unconscious desires. He said that when a person is fulfilled with one need, he seeks to fulfill his next need. That’s what his hierarchy of needs talks about. When there is a need we tend to make unconscious desire.

Necessity plays a role. If there is a need we prepare and make arrangements for it.

Likewise, if you do not want more or wish for more, how would you work towards that reason? Is it not called settling down when you just feel content with what we have? How would you keep moving up in the ladder, when you do not want to get promoted and just feel content with your current position?

Only if you wish for buying a new car, you will start working on a plan to buy that new car. A plan like improving your budget, savings, etc.

Don’t we advise people, do what you like and firm with what you need. So compromising your need is not a good suggestion, keeping in mind that each situation is different and you alone could analyze your situation and make up your mind.

Self-actualization and realization must be present when we desire for something. There is nothing wrong in wanting to buy if I do not have it. There is nothing wrong in improvising what you have, it’s like cope up with the present. Having a mobile phone is a basic necessity in this century, mostly, you cannot say I have a landline, I do not need a mobile phone. Well, you cannot carry a landline in your pocket. Period. It’s about improvising and cope up with the world and the needs.

Back to my questions, wanting to buy or compromise. To help my mind with these questions, I have decided to use a simple trick. I will ask myself, ‘do I have it already? & what is the need?’

Let me finish it with my quote 🙂

Desires are not wrong, when the needs are right.