It’s Okay! – ‘4 min read’

One of my friend let her 3-year-old kid to sit in the front seat because the kid was pleasing her so much and she couldn’t say no to that cute face instead she said, it’s okay, and allowed her kid to sit in the front seat. Can you guess what happened next?

Well, it was not worst but she ended up with traffic ticket (worth double demerit points) and warning from the cop. For real, this cop seems to be nice. But, I thank God that they are safe.

This post is about two words “It’s Okay!”

It is easy to get frustrated and lose interest in our goals and end up saying ‘it’s okay’ to move on. Most of the times, those 2 words, ‘It’s okay’ seems to be the reason for everything that collapses life. When you say it’s okay, everything gets compromised. We all know our mind works in the form of input and output. For every input, you get output. You send in signal for it to respond like a computer programming code.

To your mind, ‘It’s okay’ is a code to stop paying attention now, cool down and relax. When you have not achieved your goal, it can’t be okay. You can’t say it’s okay. That means you are convincing yourself, it doesn’t matter if you don’t do it. If that’s the mind set you have, then there is long way before you could check out any item from your to-do list.

If you have observed keen, you would have realized that procrastination is also caused by the same ‘it’s okay’ mind set. Most of your tasks are postponed by this reason. A simple example, hitting snooze multiple times before we wake up, is because we say it’s okay; convincing ourselves to think it’s okay to sleep for another 5 minutes.

Even in relationships or in marriage, this mind set creates conflicts between couples. Woman thinks it’s okay he can wait for some more time and takes as much as time to groom herself. Man thinks it’s okay not to answer her call now thinking it can wait. When the time pass by they take each other for granted by saying it’s okay and end up in a fight that could have been avoided.

Not to spare, there are instances that even friends became enemies because of the same mind set. A friend thinks it’s okay she is just a friend I don’t need to inform her where I am, although you know she is waiting to hear from you. Another friend thinks it’s okay he is just a friend I can use his car anytime but doesn’t fill the gas even once.

Here is another one, most seen and usual happening under the shield of it’s okay at workplace. Taking stationery items like pen or notepad or markers thinking it’s okay just 1 pen or notepad doesn’t bankrupt the company. But this compromises your ethical behavior at work and you never know how and when it pays off, and trust me it will look bad.

Like such there are much common behaviors like driving above the max speed limit, littering on the neighborhood park and so on. We tend to indulge in such behaviors thinking it’s okay no one is watching. These are just examples, may be even silly ones, but when we think through it we understand how easy it is to compromise the efforts you put until that moment and compromises the reputation you had created so far by uttering it’s okay.

So my friends, let’s try to be responsible and take actions on personal development and from now let it not be okay when it’s not.

There are times in life when those 2 words are necessary, use them when in need and for real.

I would like to list some it’s okays : –

  • Life is an adventure and it’s okay to be nervous;
  • It’s okay to ask for help;
  • It’s okay if someone disagrees with you;
  • It’s okay to be different;

“It’s okay to FAIL but it’s not okay to GIVE UP”

“It’s okay to follow your heart but take your brain with you”

I think those quotes are appropriate for this post and I do not know who wrote it.

Do you think it’s time that you should give up on your goal?  I would say just stick with it and try even harder.

Thank you for reading & Have a great week friends! See you next Tuesday!
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Photo Credit: it’s okay

Give Up!

– less than 3 min read.

There are many reasons behind a person to give up on something. We may give up on a relationship, education, assets, materials, like such there are things in life that belongs to us that we give up, sometimes life itself. Those reasons are out of necessity or by order or out of chastisement and they may or may not be acceptable but failure must never be a reason to give up your fight. When we sleep peacefully at our bed, there are many who are wandering in the street with no place to sit. They don’t give up their life and their life still moves on. It is extremely difficult for us to imagine what kind of fight they are put up with.

There was a boy who at the age of 8 had scaled the face of 11,627-foot (3,544 m) Mount Temple in the Canadian Rockies. At the age of 17, he became one of the best American climbers. In the year 1982, this climber and his fellow climber were caught in a disastrous winter ascent in a very difficult ice route on Mount Washington, they both became perplexed ending up descending into Great Gulf. They had to pass three cold nights at -29ž C. Both the climbers suffered severe frostbites before they were rescued. I’m talking about the prodigy rock climber, Hugh Herr and his fellow climber Jeff Blatzer. Due to the frostbites they suffered, Herr’s both legs were amputated below his knees and Jeff’s lower left leg, right foot toes and right hand fingers were amputated. Herr underwent many surgeries and rehabilitation. Do you know what he did after that? he started climbing again exactly what his doctor told him was unthinkable. He designed his own prosthesis and created prosthetic feet to make him climb again. He was able to work on the advanced leg prosthesis while he was postdoctoral fellow in biomedical devices at MIT. He is the first person who climbed at more advanced levels with such bigger amputation and being able-bodied person.

NewsImage_Hugh-Herr

Can you imagine yourself doing this? For most of us going back to the same classroom where we were humiliated is difficult. He did not GIVE UP except his legs. He did not lose his legs by some accident, he lost them during his climbing journey, the very same sport that he got back after losing his legs. He was able to achieve even better. Using his prosthetic legs, he was able to adjust the height which makes him to get to the heights that were out of reach before.

Ask yourself one question before giving up your fight. WHY? and remember Hugh Herr.
It’s only you who could fight for your dreams, your aspirations, your goals and whatever you want. If you give up, it becomes nothing.

Thank you so much for reading & Have a wonderful week my friends! See you next Tuesday!
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Photo Credits: MIT'S Hugh Herr
Featured Image source: CNN

 

The Driving Factor! ‘3 min read’

As promised here is my next post to ‘Vision of life

I have observed whenever I make a resolution or commit to a work, I will be on that sprint of mood to finish it right away and I will be able to finish it too, because I will be on fire to get things done. I will be happy and feel accomplished once it’s done and I will even ask for more work like such. Well, all these in the case of small commitments 😀

What happens to me when it’s something that takes time even longer like a yearly resolution. First day I will be super active, second day I will be active but not like the first day and I will get through the first week this way. Eventually that sprint of mood I mentioned earlier, I will almost forget that word. I will reach that state of ‘It’s okay’, It’s okay I have time, I will do it tomorrow and I will be queen of procrastination the next 2 days. The third day I will be guilty of being queen 😦

Again I will become conscious and become active. Even if I am not truly active, I will make sure I will motivate myself and get me into action and  I will say Yay!!!. This will continue for good 2 weeks. This goes on and on until the deadline of the challenge I accepted meaning the resolution I took. I have been in these days. I have been in these years. I am over it! I am glad I found ways to succeed. In my other article What happens to you after your ‘Success’? ,I had written about not making yearly resolution as #101 trick.

Like me, there are many out there who have found their ways to kill procrastination and get into action. There are still many who wants help and tricks to get that driving factor to be consistent. Not all the tasks or resolutions we commit to are small to finish off quickly. Like I said earlier, some takes time even longer like a yearly resolution. Like the day passes that mood fades too. It is easy to make a decision or a resolution when you are in that mood.  You see an inspiring video about working out in the morning and you make up your mind that you are going to work out every morning. That mood may last one minute or a day or a month. Once you lose that mood, you cannot do what you had planned to do. That’s how people fail in their resolution. That’s when the resolution becomes repeated and never ending. That’s when feeling frustration enters and you will get to say yeah I know this will not work out. You will easily give up and that definitely is not helping you to be consistent.

The key is “Like”. You need to like what you do.  You are the one who made that decision or commitment, so you better start liking it and continue liking it more.

Imagine if you don’t like a book after reading first 2 pages, it is better that you stop wasting more time in that book and pick a different book that keeps you interested. You can’t do the same for your resolution, you can’t change it every now and then. When you can love the same person and be in relationship with that same person for many decades. You can certainly develop the liking towards what you do even if it’s difficult. If you read my article on Love at first sight.Really??? you will understand what I mean by liking it and continue liking it more.

Start liking what you do.

The secret to happiness is not in doing what one like, but in LIKING what one does – James M.Barrie

If in case you are not in mood, do things you like that is quick and start feeling accomplished by doing them. When you get that sense of achievement, you would want to do more to achieve more. The more you achieve the more you want to do.

#102 Trick: That’s why they say do your bed when you wake up so you start your day with accomplishment.

See you next Tuesday! Follow my blog with Bloglovin
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Vision of life! ‘3 min read’

Have you ever wondered why do we feel frustrated quickly and take a long time to come out of that mood? Why does failure hit us like a tornado in life? Why do we take each silly disappointment too personally? Why do we get so defensive if someone questions you out of no-where? It even makes you to snap at them saying you have no rights. Psychologists say that such behavior are as a result of lacking confidence in ourselves. I have been through this in my life too. But why do we lack confidence?  I did find the answer and that is

     ———————–I DON’T KNOW WHO I WANT TO BE——————

True, being yourself, is one thing and being yourself like what, is another thing. If you don’t know who you want to become, it is very simple you can’t become one except for one thing, you will lack confidence. Julia_Gillard_2010

If Julia Eileen Gillard had not dreamt of becoming a prime minister, she could not have achieved the success of becoming the first and to-date only woman prime minister of Australia. If she had not constantly tried and stood for elections she could not have been elected. Of Course, all this did not happen overnight. She started her political aspirations when she was in her second year at the university, almost at the age of 20. It is not easy to hold a top level position; it takes lot of confidence to be with.

There are many times in life that you would not know what you want to be, who you want to become, that’s when frustration enters. People who are successful in life did know who they want to be and anytime they face failure they are back up quickly because they are determinant to who they want to become. When there are disappointments in life, successful people would be able to move on quickly because they have a goal and they don’t have time to mourn over what happened in the past. How can they do it? It is their mind and it helps them to do it. Their mind constantly reminds them about it. Well if their mind is reminding them that means they are feeding their minds with that thought. Mind will not act on its own. It will respond with what you feed into it. If you cannot train or program your mind to think what you want it to think, it’s easy to give up in life.

Here’s when CONSISTENCY plays a role. You need to be consistent in aspiring what you want to be. If you want to lose some pounds, you need to be consistent in working out. If you want to be a speaker, you need to be consistent in preparing yourself by reading materials, joining training sessions and by consistently practice speaking. If you are married, be consistent to love your partner. There is a famous adage, success does not happen overnight. That’s true very true, it needs consistency.

I tried the following and I still do this:-

  1. Write down who you want to become? (Example: I want to be early riser, I want to be committed to my goal, I want to be a person who keep up my words and so on)
  2. Determine what you need to do… to become that person?

Now start practicing it every day and be consistent in doing what you have planned to do so.

Being consistent develops confidence. If you are confident, there is going to be nothing that stops you from reaching your goals. Don’t you agree with me? What do you do at the time of frustration? Please share your thoughts with us.

In my next post, I’m going to share what is that one ingredient that helped me with consistency 🙂 See you next Tuesday!homewaredesigns (1)

#2 Are you grittier?

Today I was almost giving up on my 10 days milestone of writing about a learning I receive each day. Giving up on the second day doesn’t sound good at all. The day was so hectic and I was tired when I reached home at 10 PM. I was exhausted to either open my laptop or ponder over what I learned today to share. That’s when I logged in to my laptop and started my writing. There right at that minute, a strong word strikes me which is perseverance. If I had given up today, I’m sure I wouldn’t have slept well or couldn’t have avoided the guilt I would run into the next morning. If I had given up today, I could not have made a good excuse to my world, while so many others are working hard non-stop towards their goal.

Perseverance is persistence, it is something or rather your efforts that are required to do something and continue doing it even if it’s hard. Tonight, I am happy I did not give up and I’m persevering. How do I do this on every such situation, may be situations that are even tougher than this? What is required to persevere for long term goals? I’m aware that it is not just with IQ or EQ.

I learned  that grit is what required to help you persevere; the long term passion. According to dictionary, grit means ‘strength of character’; ‘strength of will’.

Along with grit, you need to learn to measure yourself to help you persevere. You must learn to measure your success. You must be ready to be wrong; do not fear the failure, so that you start over from your learning which will lead you to perfection in fact. Tonight I did fear my failure of giving up on writing this post, however, I started over from previous learning. I sure wanted to persevere. Willingness and strong determination matter.

I looked up for articles supporting my thoughts and I came across a wonderful TED Talk by Angela Lee Duckworth, a Psychologist. Enjoy the video and please remember ‘grit’ is important 🙂

#1 The nerd’s guide to evolve!

The Cartographers (the map makers) were following some trick in earlier days and did you know that they insert fake places on their map?  Do you know why?

Because when that fake place shows up in another person’s map, he will be caught stealing the map.

Well this is one of the interesting old facts I got to know today and I will let you know in this blog from where I learned this. The main context of this post is about community.

My friend and I was walking the walk this evening and we were discussing about how do we keep learning, keep updating our knowledge base in mind. How is it possible if you are alone? And when we were deeply sailing into our conversation we reached a point where I was asking her, should we not be around with people like how we want to be? Like if you want to be a leader, think like a leader. Well wait! Do you all of sudden start thinking like a leader? No, for the start, you will look at your hero or an inspired leader to try their footsteps, unlike the people who are born with the talent of being a leader. She immediately agreed to me saying, true, that’s one of the ways that people improve a lot in career and even life. People become more smart hanging out with smart people. We keep evolving.

No wonder why people say avoid groups which creates negative environment. Isn’t that true?

Besides the fact that the major influence of improving or updating yourself is self-interest and strong determination, spending time with leaders, mentors, like-minded people, listening to motivators, speakers, all these gives you more window to evolve.

It was such a coincidence that I found this inspiring TED talk by John Green, the author of “The Fault in Our Stars” and “Paper Towns”.  He speaks about community and the several ways to join communities that interests you. You won’t be alone again 🙂 He mentions in this speech about that interesting trick maintained by the cartographers in earlier days.

Leave your ideas of evolving in comments, would be glad to know more.