Theories are not always a theory

– 3 min Read

I am very eager to share a speech in this post and the reason behind my eagerness is that I witnessed something very similar to this speech in real recently. 

This speech is known as the cockroach theory for self-development. This speech may be a theory but this happens in our life very much like the following. One of my friend who is going through a rough patch in his life reacted to a situation that lead to another worse situation instead of responding with silence. When he discussed it with me about what had happened and why he did that, in fact he was blaming on the other person’s behavior. I had to break it to him that it’s not about how that person behaved with you, it’s all about how you reacted to that behavior. Due to privacy I could not share the exact situation or the details about this practical experience but I am able to share this theory with you all. 

You may have read this before, yet it’s worth reading again.

An inspiring speech by Sundar Pichai, the CEO of Google Inc.

Source of this speech: Cockroach theory

At a restaurant, a cockroach suddenly flew from somewhere and sat on a lady. She started screaming out of fear. With a panic stricken face and trembling voice, she started jumping, with both her hands desperately trying to get rid of the cockroach.

Her reaction was contagious, as everyone in her group also got panicky. The lady finally managed to push the cockroach away but …it landed on another lady in the group. Now, it was the turn of the other lady in the group to continue the drama.

The waiter rushed forward to their rescue. In the relay of throwing, the cockroach next fell upon the waiter.

The waiter stood firm, composed himself and observed the behavior of the cockroach on his shirt.
When he was confident enough, he grabbed it with his fingers and threw it out of the restaurant.

Sipping my coffee and watching the amusement, the antenna of my mind picked up a few thoughts and started wondering, was the cockroach responsible for their histrionic behavior?

If so, then why was the waiter not disturbed? He handled it near to perfection, without any chaos.

It is not the cockroach, but the inability of the ladies to handle the disturbance caused by the cockroach that disturbed the ladies.

I realized that, it is not the shouting of my father or my boss or my wife that disturbs me, but it’s my inability to handle the disturbances caused by their shouting that disturbs me. It’s not the traffic jams on the road that disturbs me, but my inability to handle the disturbance caused by the traffic jam that disturbs me.

More than the problem, it’s my reaction to the problem that creates chaos in my life.

Lessons learnt from the story: “Do not react in life. Always respond

The women reacted, whereas the waiter responded.

Reactions are always instinctive whereas responses are always well thought of, just and right to save a situation from going out of hands, to avoid cracks in relationship, to avoid taking decisions in anger, anxiety, stress or hurry.

Thank you for reading friends. Have an inspiring week and respond well! See you next Tuesday!
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Photo Credit: Mimi and Eunice

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Thanksgiving through my eyes!

We did not have this special occasion of Thanksgiving Day in my country. Because of the corporate lifestyle, we started celebrating Thanksgiving day and only in office. It’s not a holiday for us to celebrate elsewhere, that was one of the reasons we celebrated only in office. Movies and friends from western countries introduced Thanksgiving day to us. I did not know that people ate Turkey on Thanksgiving day and it’s a tradition :-(. I learned about this special day late. Now that I live in western country, I’m learning about this day more. It’s wonderful to see how people make honest efforts to be with their family or dear ones on this special day and says thanks to each other. It’s a great feeling to know that people take this one day off to be thankful to everything they receive!

Not to forget, it’s such a wonderful time of the year to pause and reflect on everything 🙂

I grew up being told to be thankful every day and my day starts by thanking God for everything and thanking everyone and everything for supporting my life journey. Being grateful is an amazing feeling. There is so much in life that we receive and we are overwhelmed by that. Let’s say when everything goes well, it’s easy to give thanks, what if somethings are not going well as you expected? It’s easy to get distracted from being thankful right?  I know you would agree with me. No matter what the situation is, thanksgiving is important.  Being thankful is definitely more than having an attitude of gratitude! Well, gratitude need not be necessarily expressed in the form of words but it could be your touch, a look or even your eyes filled with tears, the recipient will understand it.

One of the best reasons to be thankful for is that when you are thanking God and thankful for everything and everyone, your heart will be raised to see things far beyond the problems that exists in this world. That’s why I say it’s best to start your day this way.

Another reason is that you will receive great benefits for your body, isn’t that awesome????  Yes, that’s true and very much. When you are practicing to be grateful to what you are given with each day you will observe and experience a positive mental state. Having a positive mental state cannot be ignored because it does a great job by lowering your stress; if your stress is lowered you are going to see an overall health improvement. This is not a joke. You can research more about it or ask people who actually experience this daily.

By practicing this attitude of gratitude helps you to focus on good things in life, the more you feed good things, the more you see good results.

Next time when someone says thank you for your help, be keen and observe it once, 1. you will smile, 2. you will feel good about yourself and 3. It will trigger an internal sense to make you want to help more.

We all know about this and yet we get distracted in our busy lifestyle.  When celebrating Thanksgiving day a year can bring a bundle of peace and joy to us, why not we celebrate it every day??

This is how I see Thanksgiving!! Let’s be grateful to all what we receive in this life each day.

Wishing you all a very happy Thanksgiving holiday and be blessed with your near and dear ones.

Thank you for reading friends! See you next Tuesday!


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photo credit: Craftshub

If your life were a book, what would you do?

From past couple of weeks, I have been trying to gain some courage and motivation to plan a trip to Europe and I want to travel alone. When I say I am trying to gain some courage that means I have to pull myself together to tell my family, ‘Hey! I am taking a vacation and travel alone’. I am not able to do this and I am not able to get over the thought that I am not doing what I like.

Well! earlier finance was a question, but now that I have a job and can meet my travel needs, I still could not gain that courage to tell my family, because I end up hearing them saying why do you want to waste money. That question does not end here, it extends more. Eventually I give up planning the trip thinking why do I need to go through this.

Until, I came across this question ‘If your life were a book, how would you want your story to be if you were the author?’ This question got me thinking. My answer would be to do things what I dream of and keep dreaming and work hard for the same. I dream a lot and I really need to work hard to see my dream come true.

I know I can do it and I will!

I have done it before and I will do it again!

There are times I complain I have so much limits in my life that I can’t go beyond. But I am wrong! I have to start seeing beyond my limits. I have to start living my life beyond and this can happen only if I get out of my comfort zone. My comfort zone is my limitation. That’s like benchmark for me that’s stops me from taking risk. I have also observed in my life that whenever I step out of my limit, I see a new world of opportunities. It happens in both personal and professional life. Although, it’s mammoth deal breaker for me to get through the drama of crossing those limits. I am glad that I am writing down my thoughts and it’s giving me a lead to my dream. It’s letting me know what I should be doing and what was I missing. When I started writing this post I was unsure how am I going to plan my trip. Now I have found my way to do that. All I need to do is to go beyond my limit and plan the trip and get the checklist for the travel. At the end my result can be, either my flights are booked or sacrifice my travel for this year. It’s alright I am not going to fear the result.
I also want to share one of the video where I came across this question ‘If your life were a book, how would you want your story to be if you were the author?’

This is such an inspiring video to let you realize that your life does not end just because you failed on something or lost courage. It becomes a new beginning and you will be able to do what you dreamt of. Losing two legs below the knee, a kidney, spleen and left ear hearing, did not stop Amy Purdy to do what she wants to do. She is the living model for us who proves it’s  all within you how you perceive things. I was amazed when she said that she didn’t have to be five-foot-five anymore and make her feet the size of all the shoes that are on the sales rack. She saw them as benefits.

Please watch this video and write down your answer on a sticky note for the question, ‘if your life were a book and you were the author, how would you want your story to go?’ Read that sticky note every time when you lose confidence or whenever you think you need a boost to move on in life.

Have a great week friends! Thank You for reading! See you next Tuesday!

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Are you being busy?

-Less than 4 min read

Since my Masters graduation my life has been busy. During my school days, I always wanted to be busy by doing lot of things in a day, but all I did was studying, studying and studying. It was monotonous but that was what I could do during that time. It so happened that right after the week I was done with my exams, I had so many things on my plate to do. My sister was working on opening up a small business. I was completely indulged in helping my sister with that. Since I have technology background, I was also able to do things that could help her with website, designing, Inventory system and related computer works. Not just that, we also had to labor like moving, arranging, organizing and so on. I was doing may be very little when compared to what my sister was doing for the business set up. Starting a business is not at all easy and my most sincere salute to all the small business owners out there. While this was going, I also had to find a job. Fortunately I found a job within weeks after the exams. I work my full time day job and then go home to do sister’s business related work. I am happy that I am busy except that I had to cut down some hours from the favorite part of my life, sleeping which is sad :-p

Amidst all these I also manage to find time to read, workout, meditate and do prayer. Ahh! It is supposed to make me proud right? Nope, not at all; Also, I am not saying all this to boast about me.  May be I am busy, May be I am doing many things in life now which is exactly what I wished for, however at the end of the day when I question how efficient and productive my day was, my answer would be not satisfactory. Because I deliver very little in a day compared to what I wanted. There should be some output either pass or fail, in my case it was mostly work in progress which means it’s not a productive day. There is something missing right? I was so glad I realized it sooner and started working on it. I started looking out for techniques so that I stay focused and at the same time it is effective as well as efficient.

Again I do not want to spend more time on just looking for ways to improve but not applying them in life to see the result. That would be sadly stupid thing to do. I came across this technique of visualization. Athletes use this technique for game preparation and results are significant that it improved their focus and they performed better.

This is working for me since I started trying. I visualize how I am going to perform each day and go through my ‘To-do” list to make sure I visualize them as well.  This way I can let my brain know on what to pay attention and what to ignore. So far it is helping me and I am really doing better and happy with the results. If I come across more working techniques, I will sure share with you all.

Thank You for reading! See you on next Tuesday. Have a great week!
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Life sucks!

-less than 5 min Read

Everyone’s life sucks at one point, there I said it and often we see an elephant in the room, don’t we? Eventually as and when time passes, your life will be in different state. While the transition happens, you can either choose to hold on to the pain or let the transition happen on its own, either way the transition happens with or without you and will reach a different phase in life. This transition is something out of our control. All we could do is live the moment and be truthful and loyal to ourselves.

There was a woman who by profession a TV/Advertising producer and by life a mother, have battled several challenges in her life. She has gone through transitions that was painful and had occurred multiple times in her life.  She is also a woman who fights cancer. This wonderful woman’s name is Monali.

As a child she was shy and introvert who always find herself bullied by elders and end up in her own shell finding it comfortable. She grew up with her grandparents and enjoyed her childhood with her relatives and friends. When she was in 6th grade she moved to stay with her parents and experienced whole lot of different world. Her father’s job required him to transfer every 6 months. As a family they moved to different places every 6 months. She never celebrated holidays or festivals with her dad as he always ends up working but she had her mom doing everything for her all alone. Monali got married when she was 21 years old and after 3 years she became a mother of a girl baby and her name was Ruhi. Life was good for her until 2006, then everything started to fall apart.  She lost her dad and relationship with her husband. They got divorced due to incompatibility in their marriage and Monali moved to a metropolitan city with her daughter. She had no idea on how to survive as she was a housewife who never worried about her career until then. However, she requested with one of her friends who lives in that city for stay in her apartment and also, she managed to find a job in the Television production company. Post 15 days of her work, they confirmed her the job. She was worried who would take care of her baby girl who was only 2 and half years old. Here comes battle of her life. The apartment where she stayed had other roommates. She spoke to them and came to an agreement that she will do all the household chores for them like cleaning, cooking, laundry, and in return their house maid should take care of Ruhi when she was off for work.

She would finish all the chores by 5:30 AM and get ready for her shooting job at the production house. The house maid took care of Ruhi. It was tough and heart wrenching for her to see her child sleeping on the floor. She did not give up. She started saving money by walking 10 miles a day and by skipping meals. After seven months she was able to afford to rent a studio apartment and her life slowly progressed to be a better one.

She met a man later and they both were dating for 2 years. She also moved in with him and they planned to get married. However, the guy changed his mind not to marry a divorcee and got married to another girl without her knowledge.

Next battle, she lost everything what she had including her job after the break up and back to zero life. Again she battled to find another job, by this time, Ruhi was 9 years old. She was very understanding and responsible that Monali did not have to worry a lot about her and focused in saving money for their living.

One day when she was getting ready to work, she felt a lump near her underarm and she ignored it. She began to get mild fever but she would just pop a pill and go to bed. One day her friend forced her to consult with the doctor. Next battle, After all the tests and biopsy, she found out that it is. She underwent chemotherapy but never gave up in her life, she lost appetite and became skinny, however followed the instructions from the doctor. Meanwhile she met a guy and they both fell in love and got married after being convinced that she is not going to die. She is happy with her family now.

The amount of transition she has gone through in her life is not an easy one. It is easy for us to complain about life for silly reasons, but there are many like Monali who survive by battling mammoth challenges in life. 

Like I said in the beginning, life sucks for everyone at some stages. Its upto you how you see it! Overcoming those challenges what life throws at you makes you stronger and greater.

Remember, nothing is permanent in life and transition happens with time.

“Nothing is permanent in this wicked world – not even our troubles” – Charlie Chaplin

Have a great week friends! See you next Tuesday!
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Photo Credit: QuoteFancy

Never Too Late – ‘4 min Read’

 

I’m not sure if you all have heard of Mr. Wang Deshun.

He is the man who became sensational overnight by doing catwalk at the Beijing fashion show last year. If you know about him then this post is a reminder and for those who don’t know, here is a little background about him.

I know you may be asking, ‘Why was it sensational?’ It was because he was 79-year-old and the oldest man in the fashion world to do the catwalk last year. Wang is by trade an actor, in featuring movies like ‘The Forbidden Kingdom’ and ‘Warriors of Heaven and Earth’, but his walk at the show became his prowess.  Now he is 80-year-old!

He may not have got all this attention from us from featuring films, but it was his quick few seconds walk that got him famous. The fierce and confidence he showcased during that few seconds walk was the best of all. Many people called him internet sensation and some people said that he is the hottest grandpa but Wang says that he was getting ready for 60 years for that day. Like he mentioned, it’s true that success does not happen overnight. Your hard work pays off, it may be now or later, but it does. Believe in what you do and continue doing it. It all begins in you and only if you want to. You will realize that you always learned more.

You may not like the job you do, you may regret the major you took in school, you may hate the way your life is now, all you gotta do is push the reset button. This man did not do the same thing over for 60 years, he had so many transitions in life that involved risks. When I talk about changing the life including risks, I remember one of my favorite quotes from the book, ‘The Pursuit of happiness’, and it goes as –

“Others may question your credentials, your papers, your degrees. Others may look for all kinds of ways to diminish your worth. But what is inside you no one can take from you or tarnish. This is your worth, who you really are, your degree that can go with you wherever you go, that you bring with you the moment you come into a room, that can’t be manipulated or shaken. Without that sense of self, no amount of paper, no pedigree, and no credentials can make you legit. No matter what, you have to feel legit inside first.”

We should not be scared to take a turn in our life. It may be risky but we should not turn away. There is no limit in terms of age. There is no rules that you should be either young or old enough. If you think you need to change something, you just gotta get on to it.  If you find yourself committed to something fearing to quit, then you are going to see your life passing by year after year.

Again, can you believe that he was getting ready for 60 years? It just got me thinking how quickly I give up on something fearing failure. He is definitely an inspiration. He also reminds us that it’s never too late to make an impact, to change or improve something in life and be what you want to be. It doesn’t matter how old are you, but it matters how willing are you.

Here is a short video from him talking about his life.

I hope this helps you to stay inspired and don’t stop yourself from pushing that reset button in life. Remember, it’s never too late.

Thank you for reading friends. See you next Tuesday!
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What’s your favorite hobby? ‘3 min Read’

What’s your favorite hobby?

Were you able to quickly answer that question?

If you had asked me this question, I would have thought a lot before answering one, although I have many hobbies.

This is a serious topic and the next question is something you need to be really honest.

What do you do, when you are sad?

There can be numerous reasons for you to be sad. It may be break-up, divorce, loss of someone, business failure, bankrupt, not selected for the soccer team, failed at the exam, and so on. We are not going to see if those reasons are justifiable for you to be sad. After all, Life is a drama and it is full of ups and downs, happiness and sadness, joys and sorrows, etc.

Voiding sadness is not something in our control. But what you do when you are sad is up to you.

You could wait until time pass, by being in that moment or fight that sad phase internally and lose your energy to focus in life or act crazy and vent out your feelings. I have also known people becoming violent when they are sad. All these are some ways!

If you go for advice, the first advice you listen to is to distract your mind and keep yourself occupied. This is the most challenging task to me. I have been sad in my life too. I have been hurt a lot. To me, distracting my mind when I’m deeply hurt was something impossible. My way was to sleep a lot or fight it which pulls me away from life. Somehow I learnt that my favorite hobby helps me better when I am sad to distract my mind. Well that’s the only thing that helped me to get out of the pain filled failures in my life that includes break up in my past. It is extremely important to have a hobby. It helps you to disconnect from your worries and connect with yourself. It can be making jewelry, painting, wood carving, remodeling your room, running, reading, gardening, web designing, playing video games, dancing, etc.

You cannot find yourself in learning a new hobby when you are not actually in the mood, because it’s an extra effort. But if you have a favorite hobby, you could just simply start doing that and if it’s your favorite, you would not have second thoughts.

I try to help people who are going through tough times in life and mostly I see myself in a position to help them get out of their sadness. I always try to get them do something that keeps their mind off worries, which becomes challenging when they can’t think of a hobby at that moment. Because they have been busy all their life only working and living the routine. We need to remember that taking a break from the routine is nothing but recharging yourself. It is good to take that break often and do something that you like that is not related to your routine.

Hobbies nurture your mind and soul. It rejuvenates your energy. Trust me, even when you are sad, hobbies inspire those ‘aha’ moments.  If you don’t have one, it’s time to enter the world of possibilities and discover some new hobbies.

Thank you for reading! Have a great week friends. See you next Tuesday!
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