Respect Through Wrong Lens! ‘2 min read’

Here comes my next post with another short story.

This story is about a treasurer who worked at a highly renowned place as a President. On his retirement he became a coach/speaker presenting motivational speeches sharing his experiences at various centers and conferences. One day he was invited for a speech at a hotel where he had been to many times for conference while he was President.

This day while he was at the back stage, he asked for coffee and the hotel assistant pointed him to the pantry where coffee was available on a vending machine. He went there and got coffee in a Togo cup. It made him to think about the days when he used to come to this hotel as a President of treasury department to present speech at the conferences, when he asks for coffee he would be assisted immediately by the hotel supervisor with coffee on a porcelain cup. Now he is holding the coffee in a Togo cup. He noticed the difference of respect that comes in 2 types of coffee cups, Porcelain and Togo.

What he experienced happens everywhere. Title comes with certain respect and you can never ask for equality of treatment.

We always long for growing up the ladder desiring to become CEO, CFO, President or anything that seemed prestigious to us. We always thought how cool it is to feel the respect that came with different titles we earn in our life.

The world certainly has a way taking shapes on our lives and we end up looking at success and happiness using wrong lens.

We cannot avoid those respect that comes with your title. But you can certainly avoid allowing it to define you. We are at a place for a reason and we are where we are. Believing that we have ability to make an impact those around you makes a difference. Be bold and believe what you believe in and live the life completely.

We may have a title at work but defining who you are is at your hands. Never allow the world to define you. If you ask me, I have a title named ‘daughter’ living my life with the joy of responsibilities mixed with sacrifices and achievements.

So, My friends! I am eager to hear from you, What is your title? And What does it define you?

See you next Tuesday!

homewaredesigns (1)

Photo Credit: Entrepreneur Article

The Driving Factor! ‘3 min read’

As promised here is my next post to ‘Vision of life

I have observed whenever I make a resolution or commit to a work, I will be on that sprint of mood to finish it right away and I will be able to finish it too, because I will be on fire to get things done. I will be happy and feel accomplished once it’s done and I will even ask for more work like such. Well, all these in the case of small commitments 😀

What happens to me when it’s something that takes time even longer like a yearly resolution. First day I will be super active, second day I will be active but not like the first day and I will get through the first week this way. Eventually that sprint of mood I mentioned earlier, I will almost forget that word. I will reach that state of ‘It’s okay’, It’s okay I have time, I will do it tomorrow and I will be queen of procrastination the next 2 days. The third day I will be guilty of being queen 😦

Again I will become conscious and become active. Even if I am not truly active, I will make sure I will motivate myself and get me into action and  I will say Yay!!!. This will continue for good 2 weeks. This goes on and on until the deadline of the challenge I accepted meaning the resolution I took. I have been in these days. I have been in these years. I am over it! I am glad I found ways to succeed. In my other article What happens to you after your ‘Success’? ,I had written about not making yearly resolution as #101 trick.

Like me, there are many out there who have found their ways to kill procrastination and get into action. There are still many who wants help and tricks to get that driving factor to be consistent. Not all the tasks or resolutions we commit to are small to finish off quickly. Like I said earlier, some takes time even longer like a yearly resolution. Like the day passes that mood fades too. It is easy to make a decision or a resolution when you are in that mood.  You see an inspiring video about working out in the morning and you make up your mind that you are going to work out every morning. That mood may last one minute or a day or a month. Once you lose that mood, you cannot do what you had planned to do. That’s how people fail in their resolution. That’s when the resolution becomes repeated and never ending. That’s when feeling frustration enters and you will get to say yeah I know this will not work out. You will easily give up and that definitely is not helping you to be consistent.

The key is “Like”. You need to like what you do.  You are the one who made that decision or commitment, so you better start liking it and continue liking it more.

Imagine if you don’t like a book after reading first 2 pages, it is better that you stop wasting more time in that book and pick a different book that keeps you interested. You can’t do the same for your resolution, you can’t change it every now and then. When you can love the same person and be in relationship with that same person for many decades. You can certainly develop the liking towards what you do even if it’s difficult. If you read my article on Love at first sight.Really??? you will understand what I mean by liking it and continue liking it more.

Start liking what you do.

The secret to happiness is not in doing what one like, but in LIKING what one does – James M.Barrie

If in case you are not in mood, do things you like that is quick and start feeling accomplished by doing them. When you get that sense of achievement, you would want to do more to achieve more. The more you achieve the more you want to do.

#102 Trick: That’s why they say do your bed when you wake up so you start your day with accomplishment.

See you next Tuesday! Follow my blog with Bloglovin
homewaredesigns (1)

Vision of life! ‘3 min read’

Have you ever wondered why do we feel frustrated quickly and take a long time to come out of that mood? Why does failure hit us like a tornado in life? Why do we take each silly disappointment too personally? Why do we get so defensive if someone questions you out of no-where? It even makes you to snap at them saying you have no rights. Psychologists say that such behavior are as a result of lacking confidence in ourselves. I have been through this in my life too. But why do we lack confidence?  I did find the answer and that is

     ———————–I DON’T KNOW WHO I WANT TO BE——————

True, being yourself, is one thing and being yourself like what, is another thing. If you don’t know who you want to become, it is very simple you can’t become one except for one thing, you will lack confidence. Julia_Gillard_2010

If Julia Eileen Gillard had not dreamt of becoming a prime minister, she could not have achieved the success of becoming the first and to-date only woman prime minister of Australia. If she had not constantly tried and stood for elections she could not have been elected. Of Course, all this did not happen overnight. She started her political aspirations when she was in her second year at the university, almost at the age of 20. It is not easy to hold a top level position; it takes lot of confidence to be with.

There are many times in life that you would not know what you want to be, who you want to become, that’s when frustration enters. People who are successful in life did know who they want to be and anytime they face failure they are back up quickly because they are determinant to who they want to become. When there are disappointments in life, successful people would be able to move on quickly because they have a goal and they don’t have time to mourn over what happened in the past. How can they do it? It is their mind and it helps them to do it. Their mind constantly reminds them about it. Well if their mind is reminding them that means they are feeding their minds with that thought. Mind will not act on its own. It will respond with what you feed into it. If you cannot train or program your mind to think what you want it to think, it’s easy to give up in life.

Here’s when CONSISTENCY plays a role. You need to be consistent in aspiring what you want to be. If you want to lose some pounds, you need to be consistent in working out. If you want to be a speaker, you need to be consistent in preparing yourself by reading materials, joining training sessions and by consistently practice speaking. If you are married, be consistent to love your partner. There is a famous adage, success does not happen overnight. That’s true very true, it needs consistency.

I tried the following and I still do this:-

  1. Write down who you want to become? (Example: I want to be early riser, I want to be committed to my goal, I want to be a person who keep up my words and so on)
  2. Determine what you need to do… to become that person?

Now start practicing it every day and be consistent in doing what you have planned to do so.

Being consistent develops confidence. If you are confident, there is going to be nothing that stops you from reaching your goals. Don’t you agree with me? What do you do at the time of frustration? Please share your thoughts with us.

In my next post, I’m going to share what is that one ingredient that helped me with consistency 🙂 See you next Tuesday!homewaredesigns (1)

Minus the Minus! ‘3 min read’

How do you subtract good from negativity? Is that even possible?

People advise you that never ever stay around negative people. The more you stay with them the more you get influenced. Having said that how do you detach from negative people when you don’t know if it is negative.  I’m not talking about extreme negativity like terrorism or ISIS or talking ill about others or bitching behind or betraying. I’m talking about the negativity that doesn’t look like negative. Let’s consider domestic influence. The things that your family advises you which you think is not appropriate, yet they say it for your own good, however it blocks you from pursuing what you are passionate about. The negativity that you get from your loved ones whose primary thought is to protect you, yet, what they say is against your desire. You would have to go through their disapproval so many times to succeed something in your life. Sometimes you wish you had not listened to them so that you would have been better in what you had chosen earlier?

At one point in life you will conclude that it’s all your fault. But I’m saying its due to lack of confidence. Lack of confidence makes you vulnerable.

Most of the successful people go through this part of life. It doesn’t have to be treated as negative surrounding, rather think those are your gun point to bring out the best in you.  Look through different glass, this is not easy and it requires lot of training; mental training.  

Being confident and staying away from fear is the key here. If you are confident you would be able to reason out why you are taking so and so action? or why are you proceeding in what you want? Or why you made that decision? You will have answer to those question only when you are confident.

 To be CONFIDENT you would need to analyze both good and bad of the outcome. When you are analyzing the outcome, do not let the fear influence it. Fearing what if it goes bad leads to confusion and fades the confidence in you.  DO NOT FEAR THE RESULT. Develop RISK taking attitude. People risk their lives every day to take a next step in their life. If Steve Jobs feared of dropping out of college, there would not be any Apple product or Pixar movies; if Oprah feared of living the life of her dream, she would not have been in the list of the most influential person; if Mahatma Gandhi and other great leaders who fought for freedom feared death, India would not be an independent country. Like such we could think many leaders, warriors who had risked their lives to achieve their goal. They were confident in what they were doing. They did not fear the failure.

It’s the fear of fear you fear. The fear itself hurts more than the thing you are scared of – Darren Hardy

It is easy to blame your family, loved ones, or your surrounding that they are being negative, however it’s within you whether to interpret what they are saying is negative or not, listen to them without preconceived notion to help you analyze the outcome than to act out of impulse or draw a conclusion that they are being negative. It will be YOU who would make that choice. It will be YOU who decides what influences your life.

Try the following, you would see the difference.

  1. Start by training your mind to think not everything you listen are negative.
  2. Develop patience to listen before drawing conclusion.
  3. Whatever has to happen will happen, do not give up your confidence.

When you are confident, you will know to minus the minus i.e. negate the negativity 🙂

What happens to you after your ‘Success’?

If you attain wealth, power, position, honor, some goal in your life or the like, all these are termed as a success. Success can be a fame or triumph.  Every self-determined person has one or the other goals to achieve in his life. Even if you are not a self-determined person, yet deep within yourself, you long for success. Some take their steps towards success, some procrastinate their steps. Let’s assume you have become successful and reached the eyes of the world wherein people started to look up for you. Nothing can be stopped once your success draws attention, there are people who make money just by drilling your life and its details. What you say, what you write, what you breathe, everything will be in someone’s gossip, article, news, Facebook post, tweet and so on. This is a huge level of success attention from public. What if its small level of success, like a success that you get from scoring ‘A’ grade in school, like a success that you clean up your neighborhood, like a success that you provide a solution to a problem at work or at home etc., in that case, your family, your friends, your team, your neighbor which is a small group of people looking up for you.

Now, what happens to you after your success?

I’m so interested to write about one of the detail which is noticed after success. Did you guess???

Let me say it, it’s your Habits. Yes, your habits will be questioned. Right from how you start a day and how you end the day. How do you wake up? Do you keep an alarm? Do you keep alarm once, twice or thrice? Do you ever snooze alarm? What is your morning routine?  People will be curious to know what habits you inculcate within that helped you become successful. They would want to do exactly the same what you do, thinking they will be successful too. Now that’s a big responsibility isn’t it? Unfortunately, habit is something that is developed over a time period. It’s a behavior pattern acquired by you for a long time that you don’t take the effort to put it in your schedule. Say for example, Do you block your calendar for 2 mins to brush your teeth? No, it’s your habit that was developed since your childhood. Likewise, you would have acquired many habits in your life like brushing twice daily, bathing, praying before meal, washing your hands before eating, flushing the toilet after use, throw waste in the bin, being punctual to a conference call, etc. Habit is not an instant thing to happen after you became successful.

Habits = Training your mind. It’s a saying that ‘Motivation gets you started & HABIT is what keeps you going’.

With or without your permission, the world gains visibility to your habits. You cannot stop that. It is essential that your habits are good. People would not appreciate if your habit is smoking, or stalking people, or gossiping, etc. You cannot set a wrong example. That’s the type of responsibility you carry. You could say, you don’t care what others think, but trust me you will be destroyed quickly, very quickly, in a little time even before you realize it. Again, this will happen with or without your knowledge.

No one is perfect in this world. You may not be able to control the world looking at your habits or zooming your life, however, cultivating good habits are the right thing to do and it’s definitely in your control. If the number of your good habits out beat your fewer bad habits, you are safe.

Recently I saw an interview by Google’s CEO Sundar Pichai and he had to discuss what was his school grade, if he was a good guy at school, his favorite sport, and from his interview, people got to know he has 20-30 mobile phones, his background, his childhood and so on.

Same time, Facebook CEO, Mark Zuckerberg shares his habit of reading books. He even posted the list of books he read in the year 2015 and his plans to read a new book every other week.

For some people, their habits will be questioned or interviewed,  some people share it on their own.We can write more about habits, how our mind is trained to it, good habits, bad habits, and so on. There are many self-help books, articles, videos available to help you develop good habits. I have read in multiple books that if you could practice a routine for 21 – 30 days, it becomes your habit. Let me share my personal experience, I practice yoga and meditation but was never consistent for 9 years since I started. I do it for 2 weeks then take a break and repeat the same, it was going on like this until 2013. In the year 2014, this ‘21 days’ mantra worked for me to practice yoga and meditation, since then I don’t remember taking a break from it or missing it except if I had intentions to do it. I realized it while writing this post that probably it has become my habit 🙂 I have many other examples to share, but but but…I am exceeding my goal of keeping my post short. I may write about my transformation in a separate post.

Best to think that it is never too late to start adapting to good habits and alternate your bad habits with good ones. Look for a motivation and make the HABIT to keep going.

#101 Tip :- Rather than making yearly resolution, start making monthly resolutions and evaluate it often. Let me know if it worked for you or if you tried something else.

Image Credit: http://www.momjunction.com/articles/ways-ensure-good-habits-kid_0022667/

 

#5 How. is. it. possible???

How is that possible, when you are already at 100 mi/hr. speed and yet there is another car able to overtake you in the highway just about the same speed? How is that possible, when there is a successful magazine already in place, a new magazine could beat it on the same category? How is that possible, a new company is emerging successfully for the same android smart phone for which there are multiple brands already making their rocket sales? How is that possible, that a new one could beat an existing yet successful venture?

With respect to speed I guess, physicist or an engineer might answer, however for the rest, what you think the answer is?  Today I read a trending news about the 19-year-old young CEO and entrepreneur of Rookie Magazine. There are several brand magazines out there which are popular and bestselling, still the young entrepreneur made it to Forbes summit this year. Isn’t it amazing? How is it possible? This got me to into thinking. Is there a game theory? Did this young CEO try out of the box thinking? Is there a secret behind this success? What is that innovative idea or a new business trick this young CEO brought in? Is that something no one knew it ever existed, that she did, it is the magazine that we all know what it is about, not that I am talking about what a magazine could do. Of course there are different types of magazines, among those types, Rookie magazine is for teens. Does that mean if we start some business or products for teens, we will be successful? No, there is something more than this.

We have heard from a lot of successful people that their success is because of hard work, focus, consistent, innovative ideas, thinking out of the box, being creative and cutting edge techniques etc. Yes, all these are factors contributing success.

We all have this inner thought, why not us? Why can’t we do the same when we have the better potential? What is that we lack?

‘First step’ is the answer. Take the first step.

  • The first step to take your pen and write down your goals.
  • The first step to think that we can do it.
  • The first step to set the alarm for next day to wake up early
  • The first step to come out of your shell and talk to people
  • The first step to join the community where people share ideas in the forum
  • The first step to take your ideas to your manager and ask for his opinion.
  • The first step to wear the gym dress to go for work out
  • The first step to learn that new language that you have been wanting to.

 And so on……I know its all in your mind, all you need to do is to take the first step.

Have you observed a baby taking his/her first step?, the number of attempts it makes to keep that first step, exactly it’s the same, never fear the failure, just take the first step. When I started writing this post, I did not think I’m going to write down all these points, however I took the first step to open a new page to write and there you see, I could type more. 

Believe in yourself & believe in taking the first step, believe me you are half way through your journey.

#4 Best 5 ways to kill your dreams. Are you interested?

I am a very serious TED Talk follower. Very serious (trust me, when I write this my eyes are really wide like I am watching something very scary) to the level that most of my posts does not go without tagging a supporting TED Talk video for my thoughts. Surprising fact is that I am able to find one. Can you believe that you get to listen to life changing ideas and speeches under 6 minutes? yes, believe it.

One of such talk is what I am going to share today which is 5 best ways to kill your dreams. Yep, you read it right, it is killing your dream. We all have gone through people saying to a winner that he got lucky or look at his overnight success, without considering the years and years of efforts he/she had put in to become a winner. That’s the speaker’s first point in her talk.

Second, she talks about how we are influenced by others while making our own decision. This second step, is about reiterating the fact that it is ‘You’ at the end of the day, who is responsible for the decision you make, either influenced or following other’s instruction. It will be ‘You’ and ‘You’.

Third, she talks about ‘okay is never okay’, we need to be great. When we achieve our long term goal, what happens next, you take that success, learnings, and experiences and put them into your next project. It’s definitely going to add to your next success and you will notice that you are not going to settle for little.

Fourth, it is more like the second tip, being responsible for the decisions you make, likewise, you are accountable for your own actions, blaming others for you not being able to put an additional effort is not going to make your goal success, rather it is going to sit there and watch you whine.

Fifth, dreams themselves. Dream what you want to achieve, dream your success and when you feed your dreams more and more with your hard work, you are going to be happy. I’m sure all of us want to be happy, then dream your victory and work towards it.

If you are asking what are those 5 steps to kill, in Speaker’s words:-

So, five tips: Believe in overnight success, believe someone else has the answers for you, believe that when growth is guaranteed, you should settle down, believe the fault is someone else’s, and believe that only the goals themselves matter. Believe me, if you do that, you will destroy your dreams.

Here I am presenting to you, one of the interesting Ted Talk by Bel Pesche, an Entrepreneur.